I started using dating websites to meet people about 6 years ago. Previously, I met guys in bars or through other people and never really had a lot of luck.
When I started working for my current company, the owner suggested I give internet dating a try, she'd had success with it, so I thought, what the heck, can't hurt.
I started with Yahoo Personals. I had pretty good success. I went on a few dates, then I met my ex fiance through Yahoo and we were together for 4 years.
When my relationship with Chris ended, I got right back out there. It was probably too soon, but I needed to know that I was desirable, that someone would find me attractive and want to date me.
I got back on Yahoo Personals and this time I decided to try Match.com as well. They have a promotion where if you pay for 6 months and you don't meet anyone during that time, they'll give you another 6 months for free.
The response was overwhelming. I started going on dates and meeting a lot of people. I met some really amazing people and went on some good dates, some not so good, but I'm not sure if it was them or me. I don't think I was really ready to be dating yet and I think I hurt some people and I feel really bad and if I could go back and apologize to all of them, I certainly would.
I used Match for 6 months, didn't meet "the one", so I got my six months for free. I met one guy who I talked to for almost 8 months before we met in person and fell head over heels in love, but it wasn't meant to be (he was separated and after we met, he decided to give it another go with his wife, for the kid's sake, I don't blame him, he's very happy now and that's all I could have wanted for him).
After my year with Match ended, I decided to try another site. A free site called Plentyoffish.com. There is a HUGE difference between pay sites and free sites, I would come to find out. If I have a choice, I'll take a pay site over a free one any day.
If you want to get a lot of response and go on lots of dates, Plentyoffish (aka POF) is great, but in my experience, the majority of guys on there are looking for one thing. They all want sex. Now, not every guy is that way, but from my personal experience, the majority of the guys I met on POF were after one thing.
I had overwhelming response each time I put my profile up on POF, so much so, that I'd put up my profile get anywhere from 10 to 100 emails in the first day or two, then I'd take my profile down, sort through those guys, then put it up again and start all over.
After using POF off and on for 9 months, I decided that I would go back on Match and pay and I'm so glad I did. Since re-joining in July '10, I've been on dates with 8 guys, talked to at least 50 different guys, and I feel like I'm meeting guys that are more my type. They are definitely much more respectful and yeah, some are looking for sex, but they're not so obvious about it.
If I knew of another way to meet guys that worked, I'd be trying that too, but I like the internet dating. You get a good feel for someone by looking at their profile, then emailing a few times before you actually meet them. I find that the longer I talk to someone before meeting them, the more I feel like I know them and I tend to like them more than a guy who I talk to once before we meet, but that's not always the case.
It's not easy being single. It's not easy to date. I go back and forth between giving up and keeping hope that I'm going to find the right guy for me. I don't know that I believe any more that there is a "perfect" person for each of us. More than anything, I think it's about timing.
People tell me all the time, it will happen when you least expect it. What gets me about that is, I want to find Mr. Right, how can I least expect it, if I'm constantly looking? I can stop looking, but I'm on the dating site, guys are looking at me, emailing me, am I supposed to stop talking to them all together?
Sometimes, I'm so confused, I just don't know what I should be doing:(
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