My Best Day Yet

On Saturday, May 24th, 2014, I married my friend and partner in life and love. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.

I know I haven't been keeping up with my blog as much as I'd like to, but let me tell you, the last nine months have been insane. First I moved from Portland to Salem and was commuting close to three hours a day from Salem to Gresham. After two months, I found a great job and left my job of nine and half years to go to work for the Salem-Keizer School District. I got engaged and started planning a wedding and I started attending a new college. The last couple of months, as we've been putting the finishing touches on our wedding, I was also working full time and taking three college classes.

All our hard work paid off, the wedding was beautiful and I looked like a princess :D It was my best day ever and I am so proud and excited to be Mrs. Colton!

Next on our list, baby making. Fingers crossed, we'll be blessed to be able to add a new Colton to the family :)

Blog Name Change

Sorry to have been neglecting my blog for so long, but so much has happened. I moved, I changed jobs, I GOT ENGAGED, and I am happily planning a wedding. I have changed the name of my blog to Living My Happily Ever After, because I am ecstatic to say that my quest has ended. I have found my prince and am right where I belong.

More good news to follow as I talk about my engagement and wedding planning!

Cheers to the best year ever!

A new level of tired....

For just over a month now I have been commuting from Salem to Gresham four times a week and it is exhausting. I thought school was stressful and tiring, but the commute is worse. Much worse. At least with school you have a schedule and a syllabus, you know what's coming. The commute though is different every day. Some days it's easy as a breeze, other days it's so bad I end up crying in my car.

Even on the easy days, that's still just over two hours in the car and my body hurts and my brain is tired. It is physically and mentally draining being so cautious and aware of everything around me. Sitting in the car is also giving me back problems from being in the same position for so long.

When I knew I was going to be moving, I put my resume together and started sending it out, thinking I'd get a job right away and only commute for a short time. Silly me, the job market is so tough right now, what was I thinking?

In the two months that I have been sending out resumes (I've sent out at least 50), I've had one job interview, ONE. This week, I am so excited, because I have two! Fingers crossed one of them wants me. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle this commute.

Please, if you're reading this, send me some happy, positive, job getting thoughts. I can use all the positive energy I can get.

Thank you :D

Major life changes are afoot!

Wow, so much has happened the last few months, I don't even know where to start. My mom lost her job and decided to retire. She bought a home at the coast. We are selling the house that we own together and I am moving to Salem to live with my boyfriend, Mark!

One more week and I will be living full time in Salem. WOW, this is so crazy. I have never lived any where, except the Portland/Metro area, so this is a huge change for me. Not only that, but my mom will be in Florence which is two and a half hours away. That is the farthest away I will have ever lived from her.

My mom is so happy and excited, though. It has always been her dream to retire at the coast. As much as I hate being so far away from her, I know that it's what she wants. Her new place is super cute and perfect for her. This just gives me a reason to go to the beach more often :D

Another major change for me will be going to a new school and finding a new job in Salem.  I have been in my current position for nine years. I've worked here longer than I have any other place and everyone here is like family. I am so sad to leave, but the idea of commuting freaks me out and I wouldn't be able to go to school. Between work and commuting anywhere between two and four hours each day, doesn't really leave any time for school.

So many changes in such a short time, but I am super excited. I think I may have finally found my happily ever after with Mark. He is so amazing and I am so lucky to have found him.

I'm tired of being tired

People say to me all the time "How do you do it? I couldn't work full time while going to school. How do you have time for a life?". Honestly, two years ago, I was saying the same thing to people I knew that were working and going to school. Never in a million years did I think I'd be where I'm at now, working around 45 hours per week, going to school between half and three-quarters time and getting straight A's.

Going back to school was scary and I wasn't sure I could do it. There have been lots of ups and a few downs. I've been tired, stressed and emotional, but I've gotten through each term fairly unscathed.

This term, though, has been exceptionally difficult for me. I don't know if it's because I took too many classes or if they're that much harder or if I've just hit the breaking point and am so burned out, I don't give a fuck anymore. Whatever the cause this term, I'm tired all the time and feel like I'm drowning.

This term, I've received my first C and F on exams. I am so fortunate that my one exam was being graded on a curve and the F actually turned in to a C. Getting those grades was a HUGE wake up call, I am a straight A student, how is it even possible I got a C, let alone an F on an exam?!?!?!?

This term I haven't been putting forth the same effort to my classes as I have in the past. I might actually not get straight A's this term. I really need a break.

There are five weeks left of classes this term and then I am taking the entire summer OFF! I don't care if it means having to be in school for an extra term, I need to have a little bit of my life back.

Here are some of the things that I am really looking forward to during my summer off:

Working out four days a week
Vacation to Ashland and New Orleans
Reading a book for PLEASURE!
Not being tired
Spending more time with Mark
Not worrying about school
Not taking exams or writing papers
Spending time with friends and family

My hope is that if I get enough "me" time in this summer, it will give me the strength I need to get through the next year and a half or so of schooling. I CAN DO IT!

Dealing with a loss

I've never been good at dealing with loss. Is anyone really good at it? No, I guess not. Nobody wants to die, but death is a natural part of life. How are we not more prepared for it when the time comes?

Sometimes you lose someone distant and while sad, it doesn't effect you. A couple of months ago, my second cousin passed away in a freak accident. I didn't know her very well. I think it's been more than 10 years since I last saw her. It was a sad way for her to go and I feel awful for her family, but I'm sorry to say I won't miss her, because she really didn't have an impact in my life.

Other times, you lose someone and you think, "Well, at least they had a good life and went quickly and didn't suffer". That was last month, my great-uncle passed away from a random infection they couldn't find a cause for. He was in his late 70's and had lived a very good life. The infection had caused him to be paralyzed from the waist down and I know he would have hated to live that way, so in a way, it's better that he passed than live the remainder of his life that way. I will miss my uncle, we weren't close, but I'm sad I won't get to see him again.

<3 Uncle Tom, it made me happy to know that in your final moments, you were thinking of me. I  also remember that day of Eric's wedding and the one thing that always stands out is our conversation. Thank you for commenting on how pretty you thought I was. It meant more to me than you will ever know. <3

Then there are the times when you lose someone and all you can think is "Fuck. WHY. FUCK!" Last week, a dear friend passed away very unexpectedly, she was way too young. My heart aches, I can't sleep, I find myself thinking about her every 5 minutes. I close my eyes and I see her face, I hear her voice. This one hurts. It makes no sense. I will miss my friend very much.

<3 Devon, you were an amazing woman and could always bring a smile to my face. I will miss you terribly. I will do my best to think of all our happy times and not get mired in the sadness. Some of my favorite memories will be of playing BANG and Munchkin, taking jello syringe shots and my most favorite, watching you and Shannon share your love with us on your wedding day. <3

I am reminded of what happened ten years ago today. My 16 year old cousin, Tiffany passed away. It was a tragic accident. How many kids experiment with drugs and come out on the other side a little sick, hungover, maybe in trouble with their parents, but overall, they're fine? My guess is thousands. Tiff was the one out of those thousands that didn't turn out OK. Ten years and I still hurt, still miss my cousin, still mourn the loss of the woman she would have become.

Ten years from now, I know I'll still be thinking of Tiff and Devon. Both beautiful women that went way too soon. I don't know what happens after we pass, but I hope to see both of them again, someday, on the other side, whatever, wherever that may be.

Healthy Alternatives

The hardest part about making life changes is changing what I eat. I LOVE FOOD! So, I have been trying really hard to find healthier alternatives to some of my favorite things.

I love ice cream. LOVE IT! Unfortunately, it has a ton of calories. I found a recipe on Pinterest for an ice cream substitute that only had 3 ingredients: frozen bananas, peanut butter and cocoa powder. I wondered how that could taste like ice cream and didn't think it had a chance in hell of being as good as real ice dream, but I had to try it though, because it's only 230 calories per serving and has no sugar or dairy.

To prepare, I peeled ripe bananas and put them in a plastic baggy in my freezer. When I was ready to make the "ice cream", I took them out and ran them under some cold water. I sliced them up and put them in the blender with the peanut butter cocoa and a little almond milk, then blended till smooth and creamy.

Believe it or not, it was delicious and SO much like ice cream, it definitely fulfills that craving. The last time I made it, I added some fresh strawberries. It thinned it out more than I would have liked, but it still tasted delicious.

You can definitely play with the recipe too. You don't have to use cocoa powder and could just do bananas and peanut butter. You could use coconut, soy or rice milk instead of almond milk. You could add other things, just be aware that will change the consistency.

Another food I love is cheese and there really is no substitute for that. I have been eating less, but I've also discovered Laughing Cow Wedges: http://www.thelaughingcow.com/products/the-laughing-cow-wedges/

They come in a variety of flavors. My favorites are Blue Cheese, French onion and Queso Fresco and Chipotle. The great thing is, they are only 35 calories per wedge. I've been using a wedge of cheese instead of butter or margarine when I eat my baked potato. That saves me 55 calories! I also use the cheese wedges as a substitute for mayonnaise, which saves me 45 calories. I also like to pair the wedges with carrots, cucumbers or pretzels and use them like a dip.

Oh and if cake or bread is your thing, there are some great recipes to be found that don't use sugar or eggs. It's amazing what you can substitute for sugar and eggs and still make something delicious!

Losing weight when you love food and love to eat is the hardest thing, but I am trying so hard to find good healthy foods that I also love and won't feel guilty about eating. Stay tuned, I will keep posting about my successes in finding great for you foods, that are guilt free!