Four month drought....

** Warning this blog will be of a sexual nature! If you do not want to know about my sex life, please don't read this! **

For the most part, I don't mind being single, but I really miss the sex. I am a very sensual person and I enjoy sex very much. I am going on four months with no action and I really miss it. I don't just miss the act itself, I miss the closeness, I miss kissing and touching, being touched, the intimacy and the passion.

Last weekend, I was feeling really lonely and depressed, I was a mess. Thankfully, I was able to surround myself with friends, which helped take my mind off things, but this week, back to the normal routine and once again, I'm feeling lonely and so (I hate this word, but don't know what else to say, but) horny.

I've never been the kind of person to just sleep with random people and have one night stands. Not that I haven't ever had a one night stand, I've had 2 and a half (oral sex only counts as half sex ;-) ), while it was sexually gratifying, I feel so bad afterwards, it's not worth it.

Not that being in a relationship would fix everything either. I've yet to meet a guy who can keep up with my sexual appetite. Which, to be perfectly honest, is WAY more frustrating than being alone and going through a drought. Sure it's nice to be in a relationship and have someone there at night to snuggle up to, but when I want sex and he doesn't, I think that's much worse, I'd rather be alone.

I've tried having a f@#k buddy or a friend with benefits, but that never works either. Someone inevitably falls in love and that someone is usually me. Really defeats the purpose, but I've never been able to separate the act of making love and the emotions that go with it.


This isn't even close to my longest drought either. From the age of 25 to 30, I was celibate. I went five years without sex and I didn't die or wither up. Nothing bad happened and I survived to have sex another day.


Sure, there are worse things than being horny (again, I can't express to you how much I hate that word) and it's not the end of the world. Being single might not be what I want, but maybe it's the best thing for me right now.


I just need to be patient, not one of my strong suits, but I'm just going to have to wait it out. I refuse to resort to one night stands and casual sex. I am going to embrace being single and enjoy all my alone time, until someday, I meet the right person worthy of me and my sex.


Until then, let the drought continue, this sex goddess will not let it break her, it will only make her stronger and the sex all the better when the time is right.

More Fabulous Quotes and Sayings

If you have the energy to waste on hating or doubting me, than maybe I can muster up some energy to make you hate me even more :) I'm not doing anything to you that would deserve your hate, anger or doubt, I am just living my life and if that is so offensive to you, keep your damn nose out of my life and my business, then there won't be any way for me to offend you!

The past is the past. I have learned from everything that has happened and grown to be the person I am. I wouldn't change a thing!

My friend sent me the following quote:

"Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in the gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people."

- Zig Ziglar

I struggle with this one. I am a very caring, generous and loyal friend. When I have a friend who is down, I want to lift them up. When I have a friend that has a problem or crisis, I want to help them get through it.  The problem is, I will give and give until I have nothing left and this "friend" has sucked me dry, yet they are still continuing on their path of gloom, doom, drama and crisis. There comes a point where I just have to say "Enough is enough. I love you, but I will no longer be sucked in to your pit of despair. If you love me and value my friendship, you will understand, if you don't, well, then you really weren't my friend to begin with." It sucks, but you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Tough lesson to learn.

The Rules of the Road

My rant for this rainy Wednesday. 

Why don't people use their turn signals? They are on your car for a reason, USE THEM!!!

Why do people ignore emergency vehicles and not stop or even pull over for them? Is getting where you're going, so much more important? I'm pretty sure that whoever is in that ambulance or needing police/fire/medical assistance would have something to say about that.

Why do people stop in the middle of a busy 5 lane street (like SE Stark, SE Division, SE Powell, SE Glisan, where the middle lane is used for turning from) to let people cross the street? I understand it's a nice gesture, especially since there aren't many designated crossing areas on these streets, but when you're in the left lane and stopped, the person coming up in the right lane beside you, might not see that person crossing the street, because it isn't a designated crossing zone, they might not even realize what you are doing and hit the person that are trying to be kind to. Don't do it. The pedestrians should wait to cross when it's safe to do so and there is no traffic coming in either direction.

Bad drivers make me ill and are a huge pet peeve. Be safe, be courteous. You're not the only one on the road with some place to be. The world won't end if you drive safely. Personally, I'd rather drive safe and be five minutes late, than get in an accident or pulled over by the cops. That would cost me much more in the long run than being somewhere later than I said I would be.

OH and while you're out on the road, please keep an extra eye out for our friends on motorcycles. I have several friends who ride and I always worry about them getting hurt.

Please take care and drive safe!

My first B

Last night, I got my business exam back and I only got a B. I know, a B is good, I should be happy, but it's my first grade that's not an A since going back to school, so I'm sorry, but I just can't be happy about it.

This business class has been pretty difficult for me, it's not like my other classes I've taken, where I have complete understanding of the material and getting A's is as easy as breathing.

This class is pushing me to learn and retain things that are just not intuitive for me. Even when I think I have a clear understanding, I'll take a quiz and realize I didn't know or understand the material as well as I thought I did.

No, getting a B on an exam is not the end of the world and as a friend said to me last night, if I was getting a C in the class, I'd be jumping up and down for the B, but I'm not. Up until this exam, I had an A in the class and with only 3 weeks to go in the term, I would like to hang on to that A, please. I realize the likelihood of me going through all the way to my degree with straight A's is very slim, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try my damndest to make it happen!

New Music Friday

Since I got my iPhone, I have been buying tons of new music, here are some songs that I just can't stop listening to and must share!

Imagine Dragons "It's Time", can't get enough of this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d712Th-4y0Q

M83 "Midnight City", this song pumps me up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aZFcosBTaQ&ob=av2e

The Lumineers "Ho Hey", love the lyrics:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvCBSSwgtg4

The Naked and Famous "Young Blood", love, love, LOVE this song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Olr5Bk7jm3I&ob=av2n

I've also been downloading favorites that I haven't heard in years. iTunes is the BEST :)

Hope you enjoy these songs. Have a great weekend, party on!

Too, two and to

My rant for the day:

In this day of Facebook and the internet with dozens of websites where you can instantly check your grammar and spelling it still amazes me how many people don't know the difference between two, too and to or their, there and they're or your and you're.

I just don't understand how they don't know the difference or that there even is a difference. How is that possible?!?!?!

You have no idea how many times I have to bite my tongue when people do this on Facebook or in a text. I want to correct them SO badly and you know what, I just might start.

I mean, they should know right? It would be helpful them to know proper grammar, wouldn't it?

Raising the rent

I couldn't agree with this more. People are constantly coming in and out of our lives. Friends come and friends go for a wide variety of reasons. People grow together and sometimes they grow apart, it's not right or wrong, it just is.

For me personally, I know fate brought some people in to my life to fulfill a need and when that need was satisfied, they left my life. I am so thankful for those people in those times. They helped me get through some really low points, I don't know how I would have made it through without them.

Fate has brought others in to my life that just belong. I have a dear friend who I met in junior high school, but lost touch with after graduation, for whatever reason, probably some stupid teenage drama. A few years ago, we reconnected via Facebook and even though we hadn't seen each other in almost 20 years, we picked our friendship up, right where we left off. She and I are two peas in a pod and meant to be together. We drifted apart once, I'll never let that happen again. I can't imagine my life without her. 

One thing that I struggle with is letting people go that are causing me harm or unhappiness. I found this saying yesterday and I am going to repeat it every day:

I am a loving, loyal friend, who will do anything for those I love. Unfortunately, some people just don't appreciate that about me. I am not a door mat. I deserve friends to treat me the way I treat them. As much as I hate to raise the rent and kick people out, if they aren't treating me with the love and respect I deserve, they need to go. I do not make this decision lightly, I will worry and second guess my choice for days and weeks. If you really care about me, you'll respect my decision and let me go or you'll work 100 times harder to earn my friendship back. Either way, I did what was best for me, not because I don't love you and value your friendship, but because I choose to love myself and to not grow to hate and resent you for all the love and respect I lavish on you and don't get in return.

I can't go backwards, I can only go forwards.

All too often, I find myself stuck in a loop. Obsessing and worrying about the past and things I can't change. Whenever I realize that I'm in that cycle, I say to myself, "I can't go backwards, I can only go forwards.". Going backwards does nothing, but cause me more pain and stress. It's just not worth it!

I found a new saying today, this is another good one to remember:

Dreams really do come true!

I have been a huge fan of the band Snow Patrol for about 8 years now. My brother suggested I buy their album, Final Straw and I've been hooked ever since.

Yesterday, I was downtown to see their show at the Crystal Ballroom. I had time to kill and went to wander around Powell's Bookstore. While I was there, I ran in to Snow Patrol's lead singer, Gary Lightbody. He was kind of enough to chat and let me take a picture.

I know he loves Portland from interviews he's given and things he's said on his blog. A couple years ago, he recorded an album in Portland with Tired Pony. I have always hoped to run in to him and yesterday was the day! To say I was excited to meet him, is an understatement.

Thank you, Gary, it was lovely to meet you!

After I met him and calmed down a bit, I continued my meanderings through Powell's. Picked up a book (Zombie Pirates) for my friend, Brian. Then I went and headed over to Henry's to meet my friend, Todd, for dinner, before the show.

After dinner, we headed to the Crystal Ballroom and arrived just in time to see the opener, Ed Sheeran. He is AMAZING! Please check him out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4BLVznuWnU

After Ed's set, it was time for the main act, SNOW PATROL!!!

This was my third time seeing them live and they are amazing. It was nice seeing them in a small venue. The sound was good and you could see them really well. The show was really high energy and so much fun! I had the best time dancing and singing along with all the songs. Here are a couple videos I took with my phone. The visual isn't that great, but the sound is what it's important. Enjoy :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn78eNa4uyU&feature=g-upl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIP_WQDQXEk&feature=g-upl

My little man

In January, I brought home Gavin, a three year old beagle that I adopted from a friend. At first, I thought maybe I'd bit off more than I could chew, going back to school and bringing a new dog home, but it has actually worked out great and I am so happy to have him.

I have another dog, Rikki, she's a five year old corgi/border collie mix. She hasn't liked me much since my fiance and I broke up. She is VERY set in her routine and moving, not once but twice, really threw her for a loop and upset her greatly. It has really hurt me that she doesn't want anything to do with me, but I've tried everything and she has decided that she'd rather be with anyone, but me. Bringing Gavin home has changed her attitude about me a little bit, now that she has competition for my affections.

Having Gavin has been so nice, he's such a sweet boy and he's so attached to me. I love it. He sleeps next to me every night. If I've had a bad day or am upset about something, it's like he knows and he'll sleep curled up right in my chest as close as he can get.

My friend who gave me Gavin was sure that he'd destroy my house, but aside from a few busted blinds and a screen, he hasn't done anything really destructive. I think the reason he got in to so much shenanigans at his last home, was that there just wasn't enough to entertain him. At my house, he has 2 doggy friends to play with, a cat to chase and a huge backyard to run around in. OH and he has a girlfriend. I have this stuffed dinosaur that he is in LOVE with. He will whine at me until I take her off the headboard for him to "play" with. It is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I keep trying to take video of it, but he just won't cooperate!

Rikki is a major whiner and hates going anywhere in the car. A couple weeks ago, I decided to see how Gavin would do on a little road trip. I took him down to Hawthorne and had breakfast at the Waffle Window. Gavin was a great sport and loved meeting new people. We wandered all over and he seemed to really love it. I had to leave him in the car for a few minutes and unlike Rikki, he was calm, didn't bark and didn't tear up my car.

This last weekend, I had a house full of friends, they all loved him, but he was so worn out, by Sunday night, he just passed out and couldn't be moved for anything!

No, he's not the smartest dog on the planet, as my friend likes to say he's "All shell, no peanut." and he can be really annoying when he fixates on something and won't stop barking, but to say I love my little man, would be an understatement. I love the way he greets me at the door when I get home, the way he prances when he runs, the way he watches TV and when a dog comes on he growls and barks at it. He has been such a wonderful addition to my life, I can't imagine not having him!