When my relationship with Derek ended, I felt so free, like this huge weight had been lifted off me. I thought I was OK, I knew that there was nothing I could have done and other than being upset about having another failed relationship, I felt pretty good.
Two and half months later, I realize that I'm not OK. That as much as I thought I was doing really good, I am depressed and I hadn't even realized it. I've been faking this happiness and pretending that everything is OK and it is clearly not!
I'm trying to combat my depression by spending time with my friends and family and shaking things up in my life a little. With the support of my family and friends, I've made the decision to go back to school. I don't know if I ever would have decided that on my own, but I made sure to talk about it and tell enough people so that I can't just back out (I've taken my placement tests and if everything works out, I'll be starting classes in January!).
Also, my family is going on a pretty big vacation. We've been planning it for a while, but it's almost here. I don't know if I've ever needed a vacation as much as I do right now. This will be the longest vacation I've ever taken and it couldn't be coming at a better time.
I need to rest and relax and spend some quality happy time. Thankfully, we are going to the best place to achieve happy time. Walt Disney World! I've never been and I'm really excited. We're also going to Harry Potter World at Universal Studios.
I know that vacation and going back to school aren't going to solve all my problems. I know that I have a lot of work to do on myself, but at least I've acknowledged something isn't right and I'm trying to find a solution.
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